I am posting some good info (list of free programs) that I got from Roderick. It appears that the worm has hit a lot of people:
I have personally used the 1st on the list of each group with an ADSL connection through aol proxies on a W2k OS - I confirm they work well.
Firewall
Sygate Firewall This product backtraces more nodes than my $60 McAfee!
Zone Alarm A respected program by all accounts but untested by me.
Anti-Virus
AVG Anti-virus by Grisoft
Avast3, Free for home users May have to dig about on the page, but it is free for home use only.
SpyWare Killers (Removes all those naughty little cookies and advertising programs that arrive with so-called free programs.)
Spybot, non-commercial So good I sent him $20
Lavasoft Ad-aware However rumoured to let a few 'selected' cookies remain on the system
Trojan Killer
Swat-It I havent tried this myself, the free links are in the left lower frame area.
I hope you find the links useful.
Friday, August 15, 2003
I was reading about coded phrases in music, in this case Miles Davis and his musicians. A tight musical outfit always struck me as the perfect example of how different people can work synchronously, almost as one - even more so than the rapidly intertwining legs of a tango dance.
Music also forms a nicely closed system. As in the coded phrases, musical language is being used to talk about music itself, laying out hints of what the next series of progressions will be, future changes in tone and key. The remarkable thing is that even these phrases were never articulated or translated into language. As the author says, "The "explicit verbal instruction" in Miles's music never existed, not even in the preparation of pieces... it is clear that the so-called "coded phrases" were never formalized in the sense of a priori agreements or even arrangements. "
The musicians, like the listeners of a piece, were acting on instinct. Its hard to describe how a piece of music really makes you feel. It communicates directly with the language of emotions which is much more rich and complex than the pale language of words. To say that a piece is mournful or joyous is to burglarize it of everything but the obvious.
Music also forms a nicely closed system. As in the coded phrases, musical language is being used to talk about music itself, laying out hints of what the next series of progressions will be, future changes in tone and key. The remarkable thing is that even these phrases were never articulated or translated into language. As the author says, "The "explicit verbal instruction" in Miles's music never existed, not even in the preparation of pieces... it is clear that the so-called "coded phrases" were never formalized in the sense of a priori agreements or even arrangements. "
The musicians, like the listeners of a piece, were acting on instinct. Its hard to describe how a piece of music really makes you feel. It communicates directly with the language of emotions which is much more rich and complex than the pale language of words. To say that a piece is mournful or joyous is to burglarize it of everything but the obvious.
Thursday, August 14, 2003
She, my cousin, my sister, reminded me of how we all played as children. I was lost in thought it seems, concocting some new game or pastime. Her and my brother were partners in mischief.
I was cruel to you, she admits as she smiles. Her husband laughs at the understatement. Yes, I said, but you were also the person who taught me how to swim. A small bit of cruelty was just the thing I needed.
I was cruel to you, she admits as she smiles. Her husband laughs at the understatement. Yes, I said, but you were also the person who taught me how to swim. A small bit of cruelty was just the thing I needed.
Monday, August 11, 2003
Saturday, August 09, 2003
I was part of a Flash mob this afternoon. The email arrived and told us to go meet at different bars in the Mission organized by our birth months. Then, sometime between 1 and 2pm we were to be given instructions on a slip of paper by an organizer as to what to do next.
So we went, three of us to Dolores Park cafe. There we found others and the organizer and received our next set of instructions. They said we were to all leave the bar/cafe at 1:57pm and arrive at a certain spot in Dolores park. At 2:05 pm we were all to form circles with everyone there and await what happened next.
It was fascinating. At 2:05pm, two hundred random people suddenly assembled in Dolores park near the childrens area. What happened next? We played a 200-person game of Duck, Duck Goose. People running frantically, counting heads, screaming like children.
At 2:17pm everyone dispersed in different directions as suddenly as they had appeared. The instruction sheet told us that if anyone asked what had just happened we were supposed to lie. Flash mob over.
(I also ran into Michelle who is throwing a burning man fundraiser party tonight (her sister says: you are throwing a party to raise money for a party?) It is tonight from 9pm to 5am at 333 Fremont St. She mentioned she has some djs spinning trance and downbeat. It should be fun and surreal.)
I stopped by Borderlands books and picked up a copy of The Sparrow today. I started reading it in the hot sun, with a cup of strong coffee in hand, listening to monkey radio
So we went, three of us to Dolores Park cafe. There we found others and the organizer and received our next set of instructions. They said we were to all leave the bar/cafe at 1:57pm and arrive at a certain spot in Dolores park. At 2:05 pm we were all to form circles with everyone there and await what happened next.
It was fascinating. At 2:05pm, two hundred random people suddenly assembled in Dolores park near the childrens area. What happened next? We played a 200-person game of Duck, Duck Goose. People running frantically, counting heads, screaming like children.
At 2:17pm everyone dispersed in different directions as suddenly as they had appeared. The instruction sheet told us that if anyone asked what had just happened we were supposed to lie. Flash mob over.
(I also ran into Michelle who is throwing a burning man fundraiser party tonight (her sister says: you are throwing a party to raise money for a party?) It is tonight from 9pm to 5am at 333 Fremont St. She mentioned she has some djs spinning trance and downbeat. It should be fun and surreal.)
I stopped by Borderlands books and picked up a copy of The Sparrow today. I started reading it in the hot sun, with a cup of strong coffee in hand, listening to monkey radio
Paul writes i only wish i could somehow make time stand still so i could really experience and savor my life. am i too greedy?
If we start with this, a succession of moments, then most of us are madly sprinting from one foreseen moment to the next like people caught in a rainstorm. We catch glimpses of our next shelter and race towards it, oblivious.
When the present is immense and beautiful, we want to grasp it, hold it tightly as two lovers hold each other as they part, fighting uselessly against the current of moments.
If only i could re-imagine her in my mind as a fully realized creation, he thinks. If I could carry her inside me so that that the dreary seconds expand again and become timeless. So that we could create our own small universe with its own laws of physics and halt the flow of time.
If we start with this, a succession of moments, then most of us are madly sprinting from one foreseen moment to the next like people caught in a rainstorm. We catch glimpses of our next shelter and race towards it, oblivious.
When the present is immense and beautiful, we want to grasp it, hold it tightly as two lovers hold each other as they part, fighting uselessly against the current of moments.
If only i could re-imagine her in my mind as a fully realized creation, he thinks. If I could carry her inside me so that that the dreary seconds expand again and become timeless. So that we could create our own small universe with its own laws of physics and halt the flow of time.
Friday, August 08, 2003
The last few years of my life have been a heroic attempt to avoid working. When I left [big Silicon Valley company] in 1998, I thought I'd just live on my savings for a while until I decided what to do next. But this was 1998 and only a month after leaving I got a random call from an ex-co-worker who said he he had heard I was free and he had loads of VC money in his pocket and would I join him. I said sure.
Only a year or so later, after some dissatisfaction with some other co-founders, I and the VP of Sales, who had become a close friend, left that company to start our own company. Again, getting money for our project was not difficult at all.
That company is where I still work now. We have had our share of turmoil, of expansion, of contraction. But I have been able to draw a good salary and also have the free time I need to travel, work at home or just mess around. Last month I was able to go to Europe on a whim. My partner decided at the same time to skip off with his wife to the south of France.
Now, this same small company is in the process of growing fast. These last few weeks I put aside my usual compunction and focused, and worked. If all goes as planned, we should be hiring soon and perhaps opening a new office. All this in the midst of a recession.
But for me this means that I can now put into action some plans I have had for the past year.
Only a year or so later, after some dissatisfaction with some other co-founders, I and the VP of Sales, who had become a close friend, left that company to start our own company. Again, getting money for our project was not difficult at all.
That company is where I still work now. We have had our share of turmoil, of expansion, of contraction. But I have been able to draw a good salary and also have the free time I need to travel, work at home or just mess around. Last month I was able to go to Europe on a whim. My partner decided at the same time to skip off with his wife to the south of France.
Now, this same small company is in the process of growing fast. These last few weeks I put aside my usual compunction and focused, and worked. If all goes as planned, we should be hiring soon and perhaps opening a new office. All this in the midst of a recession.
But for me this means that I can now put into action some plans I have had for the past year.
Monday, August 04, 2003
Sunday, August 03, 2003
So much is happening and yet nothing is happening at all. I dont seem to be able to write or speak or tell a story. Well, here's something.
I had a wolf in my house this past week. This is no allegory but a real incarnation. The difference between wolves and dogs is i think that wolves, more ancient creatures, are still aligned with their packs and less so with the broader world of people, of society, of dog parks.
She was fierce and willful at times. She was strong and cunning enough to all but destroy a cage and discover some hidden latches. She could not be contained. If she was upset she would rip a book from the shelf and tear it into pieces. The floor looked like the aftermath of a parade.
Other times, she was like an overgrown puppy. She would follow me around with soft eyes and stay as close to me as possible, sometimes pressing against me even as we walked. At night, she demanded attention and if you did not provide it, she would bite your feet or curl her body insistently on top of yours.
When enough was enough, she was exiled to the backyard. She would in most cases pace near the window, watching you carefully with her cunning eyes.
Last friday she was handed over to a rescue organization. The transaction took place in the parking lot of a Safeway, in the suburban east bay. It was like one of those gangster movies - precious cargo being exchanged under the cover of a public space.
I had a wolf in my house this past week. This is no allegory but a real incarnation. The difference between wolves and dogs is i think that wolves, more ancient creatures, are still aligned with their packs and less so with the broader world of people, of society, of dog parks.
She was fierce and willful at times. She was strong and cunning enough to all but destroy a cage and discover some hidden latches. She could not be contained. If she was upset she would rip a book from the shelf and tear it into pieces. The floor looked like the aftermath of a parade.
Other times, she was like an overgrown puppy. She would follow me around with soft eyes and stay as close to me as possible, sometimes pressing against me even as we walked. At night, she demanded attention and if you did not provide it, she would bite your feet or curl her body insistently on top of yours.
When enough was enough, she was exiled to the backyard. She would in most cases pace near the window, watching you carefully with her cunning eyes.
Last friday she was handed over to a rescue organization. The transaction took place in the parking lot of a Safeway, in the suburban east bay. It was like one of those gangster movies - precious cargo being exchanged under the cover of a public space.
Saturday, July 26, 2003
Baila la Cumbia!
Cumbia is one of the world's great dance grooves. It is made up of merry guitars and accordions, torrid brass, and insistent, deep-toned drums and percussion, pounding out a lopsided, strutting 4/4 rhythm with a kick like nitroglycerine.
-The Rough Guide to Cumbia
It originated in Colombia but this is the music that fills dance halls in Mexico past the onset of darkness. Men with greasy hair and sharp suits. Women with backless dresses and short skirts. All wildly swaying their hips. The music is hypnotic, cowboy music, rural trance.
Here is Cumbia Sobre el Rio from Celso Pina, who is infusing cumbia with modern elements from rap and reggae.
Cumbia is one of the world's great dance grooves. It is made up of merry guitars and accordions, torrid brass, and insistent, deep-toned drums and percussion, pounding out a lopsided, strutting 4/4 rhythm with a kick like nitroglycerine.
-The Rough Guide to Cumbia
It originated in Colombia but this is the music that fills dance halls in Mexico past the onset of darkness. Men with greasy hair and sharp suits. Women with backless dresses and short skirts. All wildly swaying their hips. The music is hypnotic, cowboy music, rural trance.
Here is Cumbia Sobre el Rio from Celso Pina, who is infusing cumbia with modern elements from rap and reggae.
Friday, July 25, 2003
I have been playing with light and how it falls around me. Translucence and shadows.
I grew up in a sleepy surf town but felt most at home in downtown manhattan. Cities are where I grew up, where my emotions developed (like the rough shine of tarnished copper.)
I think that I can feel time, that movement across spaces and habits of being. Sometimes it is abrupt, like a door thrown open, other times graceful, like a body moving through silk curtains.
I grew up in a sleepy surf town but felt most at home in downtown manhattan. Cities are where I grew up, where my emotions developed (like the rough shine of tarnished copper.)
I think that I can feel time, that movement across spaces and habits of being. Sometimes it is abrupt, like a door thrown open, other times graceful, like a body moving through silk curtains.
Sunday, July 13, 2003
Saturday, July 12, 2003
The imperfect mirror
if you make something perfectly symmetrical and then give it a small fracture you have an almost-symmetry. The nature of these things is that whereas in symmetry the focus is on the whole, now the focus is on the fracture.
Because we are all different, we are fascinated and consumed by different problems. Sometimes our individual obsessions may even define us. We are a unique accumulation of obsessions. One of my obsessions has always been the imperfect mirror.
The first place I discovered imperfect mirrors was in physics. Our universe is riddled with slightly fractured mirrors and yet physicists generally do not make a big deal of this.
Take for example, reversal in time. Forget all that entropy stuff you have been fed. The truth is that even particle processes are not reversible in time. Well, actually, most processes are with the exception so far .. of one! "Only the weak nuclear force appears to violate this symmetry, and this so far only in the behavior of the neutral kaon."
This is a good example of a fractured mirror. The same is true with actual mirror symmetry. If you held up a huge mirror to the universe, all physics you see happening in the mirror (objects falling under gravity etc) would be physics that happens here too. Well, once again with the exception of just one sort of interaction "Mirror image of a charged weak process has never been observed."
I have always understood, I think, that only imperfect mirrors can exist. Unbroken symmetry is an ideal only, a construction of our minds. For us to know left from right, light from dark, past from future, a transgressor must exist who by crossing the boundaries of the mirror brings the whole thing into definition. We can only tell light from dark because of the shadows.
if you make something perfectly symmetrical and then give it a small fracture you have an almost-symmetry. The nature of these things is that whereas in symmetry the focus is on the whole, now the focus is on the fracture.
Because we are all different, we are fascinated and consumed by different problems. Sometimes our individual obsessions may even define us. We are a unique accumulation of obsessions. One of my obsessions has always been the imperfect mirror.
The first place I discovered imperfect mirrors was in physics. Our universe is riddled with slightly fractured mirrors and yet physicists generally do not make a big deal of this.
Take for example, reversal in time. Forget all that entropy stuff you have been fed. The truth is that even particle processes are not reversible in time. Well, actually, most processes are with the exception so far .. of one! "Only the weak nuclear force appears to violate this symmetry, and this so far only in the behavior of the neutral kaon."
This is a good example of a fractured mirror. The same is true with actual mirror symmetry. If you held up a huge mirror to the universe, all physics you see happening in the mirror (objects falling under gravity etc) would be physics that happens here too. Well, once again with the exception of just one sort of interaction "Mirror image of a charged weak process has never been observed."
I have always understood, I think, that only imperfect mirrors can exist. Unbroken symmetry is an ideal only, a construction of our minds. For us to know left from right, light from dark, past from future, a transgressor must exist who by crossing the boundaries of the mirror brings the whole thing into definition. We can only tell light from dark because of the shadows.
Thursday, July 10, 2003
On the 11 hour Virgin flight, I kept listening to Junior Senior's move your feet. I have found that it is difficult to dance in your seat.
They also had 50 movies you could watch. This is Chavela Vargas' la Llorona , a haunting song, from the movie Frida.
They also had 50 movies you could watch. This is Chavela Vargas' la Llorona , a haunting song, from the movie Frida.
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
I have been back now for several days but feel as if I am still settling back into my life in san francisco. It feels as if I am still waking up, as if I have emerged from a dream.
(For no particular reason I mention that the spanish word for dream is sueño (pronounced 'swen-yo') So, to say 'she dreams' I would say 'sueña' (swen-ya))
Orginally, I was going to visit old college friends. First, Dan in Heidelberg who works as an astronomer for the Max Planck Institut. Then Ian and Jessica in London. As it turned out, I spent most of my trip, 10 days, in Hamburg or traveling around Northern Germany with Mina.
First was Berlin which I mentioned below. Then Hamburg where we played scrabble in cafes and walked along the Reeperbahn and I learned about Barbapapas. Then Kiel, where we sailed on the Baltic sea and saw fireworks on the Bay and I saw Blandine again who seemed to be tailing us everywhere.
I also spent some time in odd cafes where we ordered two spezzi and yet paid 30 euros. I recommend you check the bill if this happens to you.
The Hamburg Harbor was magnificent. It was an enormous labyrinth of machines and shipyards and cranes and even water-filled residential byways. After taking a boat through the harbor we took an elevator down to an old beautiful tunnel still used by cars which are lifted up and down and then creep slowly beneath the waters along narrow lanes that were originally meant for horses. Walking along these tunnels was both strange and wonderful.
The whole trip was composed of moments like that. Short but timeless episodes.
These last few weeks have been amazing. It was more than a dream because it was real. When we wake up and we long to return to our dreams it is because we miss that sense of being in the present, of acting out something beautiful. In our dreams we can imagine and feel happiness (just as in our nightmares we can imagine horror) But that happiness is also real, as real as anything else. It is not imagined.
(For no particular reason I mention that the spanish word for dream is sueño (pronounced 'swen-yo') So, to say 'she dreams' I would say 'sueña' (swen-ya))
Orginally, I was going to visit old college friends. First, Dan in Heidelberg who works as an astronomer for the Max Planck Institut. Then Ian and Jessica in London. As it turned out, I spent most of my trip, 10 days, in Hamburg or traveling around Northern Germany with Mina.
First was Berlin which I mentioned below. Then Hamburg where we played scrabble in cafes and walked along the Reeperbahn and I learned about Barbapapas. Then Kiel, where we sailed on the Baltic sea and saw fireworks on the Bay and I saw Blandine again who seemed to be tailing us everywhere.
I also spent some time in odd cafes where we ordered two spezzi and yet paid 30 euros. I recommend you check the bill if this happens to you.
The Hamburg Harbor was magnificent. It was an enormous labyrinth of machines and shipyards and cranes and even water-filled residential byways. After taking a boat through the harbor we took an elevator down to an old beautiful tunnel still used by cars which are lifted up and down and then creep slowly beneath the waters along narrow lanes that were originally meant for horses. Walking along these tunnels was both strange and wonderful.
The whole trip was composed of moments like that. Short but timeless episodes.
These last few weeks have been amazing. It was more than a dream because it was real. When we wake up and we long to return to our dreams it is because we miss that sense of being in the present, of acting out something beautiful. In our dreams we can imagine and feel happiness (just as in our nightmares we can imagine horror) But that happiness is also real, as real as anything else. It is not imagined.
Tuesday, July 01, 2003
London Town
(posted from an internet cafe in Trafalgar Square)
Waiting to meet up with Roderick then later Ian and Jessica.
I will post a lot more soon. This is a marker. I need to write about Kiel and Sailing and The Reeperbahn and barbarabar and about my adventures with M. and Blandine and Thorsten and Ricarda. Theres a lot more but I cant write about it all.
(posted from an internet cafe in Trafalgar Square)
Waiting to meet up with Roderick then later Ian and Jessica.
I will post a lot more soon. This is a marker. I need to write about Kiel and Sailing and The Reeperbahn and barbarabar and about my adventures with M. and Blandine and Thorsten and Ricarda. Theres a lot more but I cant write about it all.
Thursday, June 26, 2003
Mini-golfing in Berlin
(posted from Hamburg)
When you visit a city and stay with locals, a different side of the city presents itself to you. Locals know the best bars, the best cafes and the usually hidden parts of the city. The inverse of this is that they are blissfully unconcerned with the aspects of the city usually laid out for tourists.
The best example of this was when walking near the city center with Mina and Sophie and Mizha. I was walking next to Mizha and he points out, as a side comment, an afterthought, ' Oh. This wall here is part of the Berlin wall, you know.'
The funny thing is that we had been by here before but nobody had bothered to point this out before. The wall was not a destination or a thing to be ogled at but had been part of our travels all along, interwoven with our walks throughout the city.
The entire visit was like that, full of impromptu moments:
- We found what I am convinced is the best and cheapest pizza in Berlin.
- We watched Sophie's womans chorus belt out folk songs at a club in East Berlin, with their teeth blacked out and dressed in garish clothes.
- We stayed in a flat in East Berlin thick with artists and heavy smokers
- Walking near a children's park, we stumble upon a strange, spinning contraption that looks like it violates every safety law one could think up and is surely illegal in every other country in the world. The five of us spend the next hour jumping on it and laughing and narrowly avoiding death.
- We played miniature golf in a small park teeming with locals. Sophie bests us all. My own scorecard is full of too many funfs and siebens.
(posted from Hamburg)
When you visit a city and stay with locals, a different side of the city presents itself to you. Locals know the best bars, the best cafes and the usually hidden parts of the city. The inverse of this is that they are blissfully unconcerned with the aspects of the city usually laid out for tourists.
The best example of this was when walking near the city center with Mina and Sophie and Mizha. I was walking next to Mizha and he points out, as a side comment, an afterthought, ' Oh. This wall here is part of the Berlin wall, you know.'
The funny thing is that we had been by here before but nobody had bothered to point this out before. The wall was not a destination or a thing to be ogled at but had been part of our travels all along, interwoven with our walks throughout the city.
The entire visit was like that, full of impromptu moments:
- We found what I am convinced is the best and cheapest pizza in Berlin.
- We watched Sophie's womans chorus belt out folk songs at a club in East Berlin, with their teeth blacked out and dressed in garish clothes.
- We stayed in a flat in East Berlin thick with artists and heavy smokers
- Walking near a children's park, we stumble upon a strange, spinning contraption that looks like it violates every safety law one could think up and is surely illegal in every other country in the world. The five of us spend the next hour jumping on it and laughing and narrowly avoiding death.
- We played miniature golf in a small park teeming with locals. Sophie bests us all. My own scorecard is full of too many funfs and siebens.
Sunday, June 15, 2003
I overslept but it is a sunday so that is ok. The bbq yesterday was exhausting. I played host, watched friendships form among strangers, had old friends and new friends drop in. MV tells me that she thinks this party was fantastic because the number of people was just right and everyone spoke to each other instead of hovering inside their clique. The party ended with the italian neighbors dropping in with champagne and vanilla ice cream. Now that can be added to the wine and desserts that went unfinished.
I was woken up by a call from M. and as I race to the phone I stub my toe against the corner of the bed. So I answer the phone as I am howling in pain. M. asks calmly 'Ummm, is this a bad time?'
M. couldnt make it to the party but we want to see each other before I go off to europe. We have coffee near Dolores Park and she tells me about strange dreams she has had. Somehow the conversation turns to topic of light and darkness and of how we maneuver in this world among so many uncertainties and about moments, beautiful, ravishing moments of revelation. Later at Adobe books we discuss Jung and Jaynes and Burning Man.
Later, after leaving M., I run into Z. I havent seen Z in a long time and she looks good. She seems to be with her boyfriend and he has no idea who I am.
Later, A. is stumbling at me with blood running down her nose and face. She had fallen right before I arrived. I grab her and offer to take her to the emergency room. But she seems to be ok. It was the shock that had disturbed her.
Tonight, I leaned back in a hottub. The twilight was just arriving and I watched the stars, brightest first, make their appearance in the sky. Their appearance seems so random that I am moving my head back and forth excitedly as if looking for meteors. Only after enough have appeared do I remember that these strange new things, seemingly random, also form familiar constellations.
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