Sunday, June 15, 2003

I overslept but it is a sunday so that is ok. The bbq yesterday was exhausting. I played host, watched friendships form among strangers, had old friends and new friends drop in. MV tells me that she thinks this party was fantastic because the number of people was just right and everyone spoke to each other instead of hovering inside their clique. The party ended with the italian neighbors dropping in with champagne and vanilla ice cream. Now that can be added to the wine and desserts that went unfinished.

I was woken up by a call from M. and as I race to the phone I stub my toe against the corner of the bed. So I answer the phone as I am howling in pain. M. asks calmly 'Ummm, is this a bad time?'

M. couldnt make it to the party but we want to see each other before I go off to europe. We have coffee near Dolores Park and she tells me about strange dreams she has had. Somehow the conversation turns to topic of light and darkness and of how we maneuver in this world among so many uncertainties and about moments, beautiful, ravishing moments of revelation. Later at Adobe books we discuss Jung and Jaynes and Burning Man.

Later, after leaving M., I run into Z. I havent seen Z in a long time and she looks good. She seems to be with her boyfriend and he has no idea who I am.

Later, A. is stumbling at me with blood running down her nose and face. She had fallen right before I arrived. I grab her and offer to take her to the emergency room. But she seems to be ok. It was the shock that had disturbed her.

Tonight, I leaned back in a hottub. The twilight was just arriving and I watched the stars, brightest first, make their appearance in the sky. Their appearance seems so random that I am moving my head back and forth excitedly as if looking for meteors. Only after enough have appeared do I remember that these strange new things, seemingly random, also form familiar constellations.

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